After sharing a lot about my husband on social media, I realized that most people don’t know our story. I could take up pages telling you every detail about him and I but I won’t bore you to death! What I really hope you take from our story is that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone that checks all the boxes and knows your value. Sometimes getting that means sticking to high standards, even if that means waiting forever for the right person. You might even have to being willing to step away from the person who is meant for you.
When worlds collide
Mike and I met when I was 14 years old but our paths actually crossed before we even met. Him and I played basketball in grade school. In the same year we both made the region 19 all star team. Both the boys team and the girls team played at the same place on the same day. We didn’t realize this until much later into our relationship when he accused me of stealing his all star T-shirt. Literally it was almost a fight!
He kept telling me I took his T-shirt (which even if I did, guys usually think their girl in their T-shirt is a cute thing!) I kept telling him the t-shirt was mine. That was when we put two and two together and realized we were literally at the same place at the same time before we ever met each other. To this day we have identical trophies from that year on our fireplace mantle. Our worlds collided before we even met.
When I met Mike he was a typical teenage boy. He was outgoing and LOVED the girls. Somehow I became his designated best friend. There was something about him and I that was just easy and natural. I was always able to completely be myself with him. Mike and I were friends all through out high school, however it wasn’t always smooth and easy. He was a total pain in my ass. Mike always had a way of flirting with me and making moves but if I ever wanted to make it something more he would say he didn’t want a relationship. Typical teenage boy (God help our boys if they follow in their father’s footsteps lol)
The tough decisions are usually the right ones
There was a period of time that I think was crucial for our relationship, and that was when I refused to deal with the back and forth. That moment was pivotal for us. I dont think we would be together now if I didn’t walk away from him. I walked away from my friendship with him because I could not deal with the mixed signals he was giving me, and honestly I was worth more than that and I knew it. At the time I was 17, I was young, however my dad instilled in me certain values that I was not willing to give in on. My dad made sure I knew my worth and as hard as it was to walk away from someone I knew I could very well marry, I did it anyway because that is what I deserved.
As women I think we have a very difficult time doing this. And it was hard. At the time i remember wondering if I made the right decision. Mike was my best friend. I told him everything. We would hangout, play sports together, and challenge each other to video games. I would go to him when I was upset and ask his opinions on things. He always called me to help him with his homework. I felt like I really was losing a huge part of my life. But at the time Mike wasn’t mature enough to give me what I needed and deserved. He liked the idea of having me as his best friend while at the same time being more only when it was convenient for him. That should never be enough.
When I walked away from him and our friendship I think it slowly made him realize what he was losing. Getting back to our friendship didn’t happen over night. It took over a year. He would call me and text me and I wouldn’t answer, every time questioning if I was making the right decision. Each time I would remember what my dad would tell me. My dad always told my sisters and I that we were diamonds and that we should never settle for less then we deserve. I thank God everyday for my dad and the self worth he instilled in my sisters and I. His lessons were a huge reason why I was able to stick to my values and virtues in high school, which was not easy.
Right where we left off
Eventually Mike and I slowly started to get back to our friendship. Actually how that happened was because of prom. My prom date got sick with mono a few days before hand and I had no one to go with. I was totally content going on my own. After all, my dad taught me to never have to rely on a man. So why would I need one to take me to a dance? I got moves of my own and I was happy to make a fool of myself all by my lonesome. Except my friends kept telling me to call Mike and ask him to come with me. Why? Well I have to give it to my husband he is an incredible dancer and was always so much fun at dances. It’s actually one of my favorite things about him.
So after going back and forth I decided to text him. Up to that point I had ignored him for close to a year (he deserved it). I sent him a text asking if he would come with me. He replied no.I wasn’t surprised that he said no. I mean I did give him the Heismann for close to a year. However, the next morning he had a change of heart. I’ll never forget the text he sent – “Ok fine. I’ll go to your prom with you” Well jeez don’t do me any favors! We went to my senior prom together and it was like we never stopped talking. I had my best friend back, but I still couldn’t shake the deep love I had for him. Over the rest of the summer Mike and I continued to talk and we officially started dating my freshman year of college.
Your Value & worth is what is most important
The point I really want to make with our story is that it was necessary for me to walk away from him. It was necessary for me to see my worth and walking away from him made him realize what he was losing. I am not saying that it will always work out the way it did for Mike and I, but honestly how can you expect someone to see your worth if you can’t even see it in yourself. Sometimes we crave love from someone so much that we are willing to give up parts of ourselves to get it. We are willing to compromise on our values or compromise on what we want in a man. That never ends well. I can promise you, you will always continue to feel like you aren’t enough, even though you are so much more than that.
Sometimes making the hard decisions to stand up for yourself and what you deserve will cost you love in the beginning, but in the long run it will pay off. Mike and I are strong in our marriage to one another because we value each other. You know that saying, “you don’t know what you have till it’s gone?” That’s incredibly true. It wasn’t until I stopped waiting to be valued that Mike truly realized what he would be losing.
So when you find yourself comparing and contrasting to other people or their relationships, remember your worth. Remember that maybe you haven’t found your soulmate yet because you hold value, worth, and standards, that you are refusing to lower and settle. NEVER settle. Value yourself enough to get the man that checks off all the boxes and value yourself enough to be alone if you don’t find him. Value yourself enough to be the diamond.
Live Large & Stay RARE.